Common Sense Comedy Tour Review

Glenn Beck challenged his listeners to write a preemptive review of his upcoming Comedy Tour, in the form of a liberal journalist. I thought if I had a minute today, I would see what I could come up with. Surprisingly, I did have a few minutes! On his website, he had a few points we had to cover. And I think there is a prize for the "most accurate". Anyway, here is what I came up with.

Those of us who live in the real world, brace yourselves! Banjo-playing, Bible-thumping, sheet-wearing, radical right wing zombies are braving an evening away from their apocalyptic bunkers and dozens of brainwashed kids for a night on the town. Is it another embarrassingly unsuccessful Tea Party? Surprisingly, no. It is in support of their fearless, or fanatical leader, Glenn Beck.

Glenn Beck, shock jock turned investigative journalist, is stepping out of his “War Room” in the Fox News compound, and into the world of comedy. Or so he is advertising with his Common Sense Comedy Tour. Possibly the task of verifying simple facts became overbearing, and since the rest of the world was laughing at him, he might as well profit from it.

The Common Sense Tour is a typically excruciating Glenn Beck production, which inevitably involves bulging forehead veins, streaming tears, pit stains, and a frightening look into the future. If you tune out the Republican shill disguised as comedy, and focus singularly on his laughable appearance, you might get your money’s worth. Instead of listening to his sardonic monologue, picture him walking the halls of your junior high. What ridicule an overweight, almost translucent skinned, perpetually perspiring, prepubescent must have endured. Most grow out of their awkward stage. Instead Mr. Beck added to the unfortunate list an unknown hair color and loud mouth demeanor.

The emotional and overcharged evangelical style might appeal to the small-minded disenfranchised minority of Americans, but for the rest of us who still have our spinal chord attached to our brain, save your money! To paraphrase an overused quote by Mr. Beck, “if you pay money to listen to his comedic gospel, you’re an idiot.”

Lady Justice?

On Tuesday President Obama announced his nomination of Sonia Sotomayor for Supreme Court Justice. I have not done my own vetting process of her, and know very little. So I will reserve my confirmation until I know more about her and her qualifications. Instead, I am writing about something that President Obama said while introducing her. He gave two qualities that are essential to a Supreme Court Justice: a rigorous intellect and a recognition of the limits of the judicial role. Woo-hoo! I couldn't agree with you more, Mr. President! I couldn't believe my ears, but before I could do my celebration dance, he continued and inevitably contradicted himself.

He stated, "...yet, these qualities alone are insufficient. We need something more. For as Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, "The life of the law has not been logic; it has been experience." Wait...WHAT?!?!? Were you just sweet talking me with your pick up line about limits of the judicial role? And now you are quoting from a Legal Realist, and suggesting that someones life experience should not only play a small role, but an essential role in their judicial decisions? Complete contradiction.

Without boring you with legal mumbo-jumbo, which I hope to eventually formally study, I want to get your thoughts on legal realism versus legal formalism. Before President Obama's introduction of a possible Supreme Court Justice, I was unaware of these opposing school's of thought. Legal Realism is the concept of the law being "indeterminate"and should be used as "a tool to achieve social purposes and to balance competing societal interests". Legal Formalism argues that "decisions rest on a relatively closed-set of logically-organized rules" and judges should be constrained in their interpretations.

It seems obvious that President Obama, and Sonia Sotomayor, interpret the judicial role of the Supreme Court as a way to "achieve social purposes and balance competing societal interests". Why would they believe that her "life experience" is one of the essential factors as to her qualifications? A Legal Formalist (which from what I understand about the ideology, I fall under) would argue it should have absolutely no bearing on her qualifications. Whether she is male, female, white, black, hispanic, rich, poor, should not matter! Lady Justice should be blind, and free from prejudice and passion. I'm no idiot, I know there have been conservative judges that interpret the law differently because of past experiences. This is not exclusive to Sonia Sotomayor or President Obama. But this is the first time I have been aware of it, and I think it is wrong. Just as President Bush put in a more conservative justice while he was in office, President Obama is nominating a more liberal judge. Fine. The Supreme Court should be balanced in ideology. But the entire concept of her "rigorous intellect" being "insufficient" without not logic, but experience; is absolutely wrong.

True Convictions

Conviction: (noun) an unshakable belief in something without need for proof or evidence.

I watched an interesting segment on a morning television talk show this morning featuring five lionesses and apparently a relatively unknown radio and television show host. Without delving into the hilarious mess that it became, there was an interesting dialogue I wanted to write about. The lead 'investigative journalist' asked the guest "What are your true convictions" and after several ADD moments, he answers the question: God, founding of our country, and family. While staring deep into his tear-filled eyes, she professionally follows up with, "I think we all believe in the country, in God and family. So what are your true convictions?" Part of the audience had a similar reaction to mine, laughter! Is she serious? Does she think his answer is going to be different? It made me think her question, "What are your convictions?"

By looking at the definition, I believe that most everyone, as Ms. WaWa herself pointed out, has the same convictions. This is the common ground that binds the human race. What do you have an "unshakable belief in" that doesn't need any "proof or evidence"? My convictions are absolutely an unshakable belief in God, in His Son, Jesus Christ, and that they have a plan for all of Their children. And that the foundation of that plan is rooted in the family. I have an unshakable belief in freedom and that it is a right endowed to everyone. All of my "opinions" or "political positions" stem from my beliefs. How I apply my convictions to my political positions is what separates me from a liberal. It isn't good versus bad, it is just different. But as I have said previously, our convictions is where we can most likely find common ground.

American Idol Finale

And the Final Two are:

A very good looking hobbit and....

A theatrical mix between Emo boy and a glam rocker from the 90's!

Yes, that really is a picture of Adam Lambert. Word to the wise: Don't Google his name... it ain't pretty! This is one thing about this season of American Idol that has been surprising to me. Typically the producers throw their "non-family-friendly" contestants under the bus. If they have a criminal record, if they have taken explicit or even questionable pictures, etc. But nothing has been said about Adam Lambert, other than he is the Musical Messiah! In my musical opinion, he is an amazing singer. He can hit any note effortlessly. However, when he really belts the power notes, his tongue hangs out like a dog sticking it's head out the car window. His over-dramatized performances have become as difficult to stomach as the Rocky Horror Picture Show...and no, I haven't actually seen Tim Curry in drag. But I have to ask myself, who's album would I actually buy? Easy answer.

Frodo Baggins...I mean, Kris Allen. Doesn't he have a hobbit-esque appearance, in an adorable boy next door kind of way? Although he doesn't have as wide of range as Adam, or all the bells, whistles, fireworks, eye-liner, he get's my vote. He has a cool, accoustic, style that reminds me of Jason Mraz, who I'm also a huge fan of. I have loved almost every performance, and he seems to be genuine, hard-working, and an average-everyday kind of person. He is definitely the underdog, Adam Lambert not only getting Bono's approval, but all of the judges and Katy Perry's endorsements. Hopefully, they'll all be shocked when Ryan Seacrest announces the "greatest upset in the history of American Idol"!

I want to be a comedian

Apparently, if you are a comedian, you can get away with anything. Because "it's funny"! Of course, some of your bits might not go over well with your audience, but don't worry! It will only help your career, because that means you are now "edgy". Here are some suggestions for possible comedian material which has previously been viewed as "off-limits" or "inappropriate". Let's see if we can put on our comedian hats and find a way to make them funny:

Parkinsons

Youth Suicide

9-11 Hijackers

Kidney Failure

The holocaust

Rape

Cancer

Torture

School Violence

Barbara Walters

There is still one topic that hasn't made the "Now its funny" list, and that is President Barack Obama. This was made obvious at the White House Correspondence dinner, when he was the only one allowed to make fun of the new President. Typically this fundraiser dinner turns into a roast of our Commander in Chief. Wanda Sykes instead roasted President Obama's outspoken opponents, calling one treasoness. In the President's stand-up routine, he did a fine job poking fun at himself.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo

How to beat Swine Flu:

• Don't travel to Mexico. Even if you planned for it. Even if you paid for your cruise and they will refuse any reimbursements. Even if you've never traveled outside the country. Just don't do it.
• Wash your hands. This precaution may seem extreme. Out of the ordinary. Might throw off your daily schedule. This kind of warning might cause fear-crazed citizens to start stock piling Tamiflu, but heed this advice. Wash your hands.
• Don't panic. Although the constant media coverage and the billions of dollars our government is pumping into prevention might instill some fear, don't give in. The World Health Organization has only confirmed 30 deaths worldwide, 29 in Mexico and 1 in the United States. To give some comparison, the CDC reported 1,161 cases of Influenza within the United States during 2007 -08. The mortality rate peaked at 9.1% during that time, which would estimate to being around 105 deaths. Just in the United States. Could Influenza be considered a pandemic? Until this H1N1 strand mutates into a more deadly virus, I'm not going to go out and buy face masks.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!...unless you live in Mexico!