Monday, December 1, 2008

Behind closed doors

President Elect Barack Obama confirmed the furry of rumors surrounding his choice for Secretary of State. He has officially announced Senator Hillary Clinton as his administrations Secretary of State. In his prepared statement, he described her as "tough and smart and disciplined". And continued in saying, "I was always interested—after the primary was over—in finding ways we could collaborate." Their subdued demeanor may reflect a new tone in their originally rocky relationship.


But those behind the scenes, have a much different story, reports the newest leaked information to the always reliable New York Times. Neither President Elect Obama or Sen. Clinton minced words in regards to their opponents during the 'rough and tumble' primaries. President Elect Obama as a candidate openly criticized Senator Clinton's 'foreign policy' experience saying "What exactly is this foreign policy experience? Was she negotiating treaties? Was she handling crises? The answer is no." According to those close to him, nothing has changed. "He has felt stuck between a rock and a hard place, both being the hard-nosed and pushy Senator Clinton", an anonymous aid confessed. During a heated private conversation between the two former rivals, he reportedly 'offered her the position of the the First Dog, a pit bull in pantsuits' and she retorted 'you're nothing more than a [censored] a suit with a preacher's voice and chicken legs'.


Why would he chose her, you may ask. "He felt he had no choice. Her aides leaked his consideration of her as Secretary pre-emptively". And with the media's automatic praise of his 'choice', he felt he had 'no choice'. Clinton aides also hint that this is the 'natural stepping stone' to the office of the President, as in days of Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, etc. She will be the third woman Secretary of State, 'undoubtedly regretfully not the first', sighed Obama, who finds her thirst for power distasteful. "That is the only explanation I could find for her sticking with a chronically cheating husband", President Elect Obama expressed to US Weekly. He jokes, "My wife would have had my manhood hanging from the mailbox if I even considered it. Literally!" We will see if Sen. Clinton, or soon to be Secretary Clinton will do something similar with his manhood. All jokes aside, President Elect Obama is definitely collecting a 'team of rivals' which could be powerful or powerfully disasterous.

Is it just me, is this a step back for women's rights?
Sure, she can't be President, let's just make her his Secretary?

4 comments:

Ashley said...

The thing that bothers me about it all is that you know she hates him. If it weren't for him she'd probably be president. Eek. Anyway, how can they work together when they can't stand each other? Brilliant.

okbushmans said...

I guess my first attempt at satire fell flat! Come on people!?!? Doesn't this ring ridiculous? Do you really think Obama would talk about his manhood removal? I've checked my webstats, and I know there were many visitors yesterday, but one lonely comment? (Thank you Ashley for having a voice!) Yes I'm positive there has been some behind the scenes drama, no matter how much I appreciate the more 'centrist' attitude the Clinton's have, we all know they create or follow drama. (Or it follows them!)
I guess this proves my point about the difficulty of reading humor or satire. You don't get the tone or intention behind the written text.

Jen said...

Ironically I choose not to comment. I wanted to not be the first and wanted to see what others had to say. Oh well. It was a great post.

Also, since Lula is out of the loop you may want to remove her link under the heading "The Other View" I noticed that she removed your link from her site. As much as I disagree with her, I'm sad that she's no longer blogging about politics, the debates have been fun and insightful. I just hope we still get opposing opinions on your site.

Bray said...

I've beeen gone a long time and I have obviously missed something....what happened to Lula. I noticed she has stopped her blog and now has a blog called "Liberal Mom's unite" and it is for invited readers only.
Ok, I need the scoop, what happened? Did she get offended? Does she not like our lively debates? Did she decide she had had enough of our conservatism? I am genuinely sad as I found her to be such a smart and funny contributer!!