Top 10

Top 10 Indicators You Are Enrolled in the Proposed Government's Health Care Plan

10. Your anual breast exam is done at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor's office include, "Take a left when you enter the trailer park".
8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of a Fudgesicle.
7. The only proctologist in the plan is Gus from Roto-Rooter.
6. The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "an apple a day..."
5. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you donated to Goodwill last month.
4. "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typographical error.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. Your Prozac comes in a variety of colors, with little "M's" on them.
1. You ask for Viagra and they give you a popsicle stick and duct tape.